Beyond the Stereotype: Autism in Women and Girls

When people think of autism, they often picture a young boy who is deeply fascinated by trains, able to recite every model, prefers playing alone, avoids eye contact and takes things literally. While this might be the common stereotype, it leaves out a vast number of individuals, especially women and girls, whose experiences of autism often look very different.

Back in 2015, it was estimated that 1 in 150 Australians were autistic (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, 2017). Fast forward to today, and that number has jumped to 1 in 40 (Aspect, 2024). So, what’s behind this dramatic shift? It’s not that autism itself has suddenly become more common, but rather that awareness, understanding, and recognition has grown. With improved knowledge, evolving diagnostic criteria, and more clinicians trained to identify autism across diverse presentations, this  means more people, especially those who may have previously slipped through the cracks, are being seen and understood.

This shift tells an important story. It highlights just how significant and present autistic people are in our communities and why it’s so crucial that we continue to challenge outdated ideas about what autism ‘looks like’. Because autism looks different for everyone, and that’s especially true for women and girls.

What is autism?

From a neuro-affirming lens,  autism is simply a natural variation of how the brain works where autistic people think and process information about themselves and the world around them in a different and unique way. It is considered a neurodevelopmental ‘disorder’ that affects how the brain functions, particularly with communication skills, social interactions, restrictive/repetitive behaviours and specific interests.

The Quiet Camouflage: Why Autism in women and girls goes unnoticed

Many autistic women and girls fly under the radar for years, sometimes even decades, before receiving a diagnosis. Why? Because the traditional understanding of autism has been shaped by research primarily conducted on males. As a result, the ways in which women and girls experience and express their autistic traits often go unrecognised. Their subtle differences that don’t align with the more common ‘male centric’ model of autism are overlooked. For example, boys with autism may show more ‘visible’ behaviours and socially recognised autistic traits, like playing alone, having an intense interest in a specific area like dinosaurs or minecraft, displaying flat facial expressions or engaging in hand flapping. 

Autistic girls may present with similar behaviours, but in ways that are less ‘obvious’ and more socially accepted. This is partly due to the fact that autistic girls are more likely to mask their traits, becoming the ‘quiet camouflage’ - mimicking social behaviours, forcing eye contact, and not stimming - all as a means of fitting in. This ability to ‘camouflage’ makes it difficult for those who are trained traditionally to pick up on certain traits, making them appear neurotypical. Being the quite camouflage comes at a cost. Many women as they enter their later years of life and finally receive a diagnosis describe years of exhaustion, anxiety, and a deep sense of not belonging, without understanding why. 

Below, we break down key aspects of autism in girls and women.

Autism in Girls and Women

Below, we break down key aspects of how autism manifests in girls and women.

Social Interaction

Research suggests that while autistic boys tend to show lower social motivation, autistic girls often have similar levels of social motivation compared to non-autistic girls (Sedgewick et al., 2015). This means many autistic girls actively seek social interactions and friendships, which contradicts the common stereotype that autistic individuals prefer solitude.

However, autistic girls may struggle with initiating interactions, maintaining friendships, and navigating social conflict. Some may take a leadership role in play, steering activities toward their interests, while others may passively follow along without asserting their needs. They often have a basic understanding of social communication but may struggle with deeper social rules, such as recognising their role in a misunderstanding. Many autistic girls engage in camouflaging behaviours—also known as masking—where they consciously or unconsciously mimic social norms to fit in. While this can help them appear socially competent, it is exhausting and can lead to anxiety and burnout.

Signs of Social Differences in Autistic Women

Inconsistent or unsustained eye contact

Consciously reminding oneself to make eye contact because it is "expected"

Needing significant downtime after social interactions

Actively thinking about body movements to appear "natural"

Preferring friendships with other neurodivergent individuals

Functioning well in structured settings (work/school) but struggling at home

Difficulty fully understanding sarcasm or jokes

Preferring in-person communication over text due to challenges interpreting tone

Special Interests

Special interests bring many autistic individuals deep joy, offering either extensive knowledge about a topic or a sense of comfort and stability. While boys' special interests often align with stereotypically "autistic" interests (e.g., trains, numbers, maps), girls' special interests are often more socially acceptable and thus overlooked.

A study by Brown et al. (2024) found that autistic girls were more likely than boys to be interested in animals (62% vs. 47%), arts and crafts (64% vs. 38%), and music (78% vs. 64%). Their interests often center around people (e.g., celebrities, fictional characters, friends, family) or subjects like psychology and true crime. Many of these interests are dismissed as personality traits rather than recognised as part of autism.

Examples of Special Interests in Autistic Women

Arts & crafts (e.g., knitting, scrapbooking, pottery)

Gaming (board games, computer games, card games)

Media (e.g., TV shows, movies, music)

Fictional characters or mascots (e.g., Hello Kitty, Spiderman)

Collecting objects (e.g., figurines, rare coins, shells)

Repetitive and Restrictive Behaviours

When people think of repetitive behaviours in autism, they often picture hand flapping, tip-toe walking, or echolalia (repeating words/phrases). However, autistic individuals engage in a much broader range of self-stimulatory behaviours, or "stimming," which help regulate emotions and sensory input.

Routines and Rituals

Many autistic individuals rely on routines and rituals to create predictability. Changes to plans can be overwhelming because the autistic brain processes information differently, requiring significant effort to adjust. Cognitive rigidity—thinking in literal, black-and-white terms—can make flexibility difficult. However, the way this appears in daily life is often subtle.

Sensory Differences

Autistic individuals process sensory input differently, which can make everyday environments overwhelming. Sensory sensitivities may include:

• Hypersensitivity (e.g., being easily overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, or strong smells)

• Hyposensitivity (e.g., seeking intense pressure, craving strong flavours, or struggling to notice pain)

• Mixed sensitivity (e.g., craving deep pressure but disliking light touch)

  
  

These differences impact clothing choices, food preferences, work environments, and overall well-being.

Challenges That Come and Go

A major barrier to diagnosis in women is the inconsistency of symptoms. Many late-diagnosed autistic women have been told, "You can’t be autistic because you make eye contact," or "You can’t be autistic because you have friends." These misconceptions ignore the fact that autistic traits can wax and wane depending on life circumstances.

Many women report that they coped well in childhood but struggled in adulthood when responsibilities increased. This highlights the importance of recognising autism as a dynamic condition that changes with life demands.

The Power of Understanding

Receiving an autism diagnosis as a woman can be life-changing. While autism presents challenges, understanding one’s neurodivergence allows for self-acceptance, better accommodations, and the ability to advocate for personal needs. Having autism does not mean someone is incapable of thriving—it simply means they experience and interact with the world differently.

By broadening our understanding of how autism manifests in girls and women, we can create more inclusive spaces where neurodivergent individuals are seen, understood, and supported.

Late Diagnosis and the Impact on Mental Health

For many women, an autism diagnosis doesn’t come until adulthood—often after years of misdiagnosis or being told their struggles are simply anxiety or depression. Without understanding their neurodivergence, they may blame themselves for feeling 'different' or 'too much.'

A late diagnosis can bring a mix of emotions—relief at finally having an explanation, grief for the struggles endured, and a sense of empowerment in embracing their true selves. It’s a chance to unmask, to embrace what makes them unique, and to seek support that truly meets their needs.

The Importance of a Neuro-Affirming Approach

Recognising autism in women and girls isn’t just about improving diagnosis rates—it’s about shifting societal perceptions. Instead of framing autism as something to be 'fixed,' we must celebrate neurodivergent strengths, honour different ways of thinking, and provide environments where autistic individuals can thrive without masking.

At Wildflower Holistic Services, we are committed to supporting autistic women and girls in understanding their identities, advocating for their needs, and embracing their neurodivergence with pride. If this resonates with you or someone you love, know that you’re not alone—we’re here to help you navigate this journey with compassion and understanding.

Check out our video with Alex our co-founder and lead psychologist below for more information about our Assessment process:

So, whats next?

Our Autism Assessments go beyond just a diagnosis—they provide a deeper understanding of yourself, your child, or your loved one. By capturing the full picture, our assessments empower individuals and those around them with greater self-awareness, confidence, and tailored strategies to navigate life authentically. If this blog has resonated with you and you feel an Autism Assessment could be the right next step, reach out to us below for more information.

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