The Sensory Side of Tantrums: What’s Really Happening in Your Child’s Brain

When it’s not “just a tantrum...

If your child has ever melted down over a sock seam, a loud noise, or an unexpected change in routine, you’re not alone. 

And, you’re not doing anything wrong.  These moments can feel intense and overwhelming, for both of you. 

But what if there was more going on beneath the surface. 

What if your child's brain was simply doing its best in a moment of sensory overload?

What’s actually going on in the brain during sensory overwhelm?

Your child’s nervous system is constantly taking in information—noises, lights, textures, movements, even hunger. For some kids (especially those who are neurodivergent or have sensory processing challenges), the brain struggles to filter and organise all this input.

So why does sensory overload trigger such extreme reactions? After all, it's just a sock seam?!

Here’s what’s happening in the brain: 

(psst, don’t skip this part, we’ve cut out all of the sciency jargon because understanding the brain is important for understanding your child and we want to make this as easy as possible) 

The Thalamus: The Sensory Gateway 

Think of the thalamus as the brains ‘gatekeeper’. This part of the brain usually helps filter unnecessary sensory information, like background noise, scratchy tags, flickering lights, or that distant vacuum cleaner.

But, for kids with sensory challenges, the thalamus is overwhelmed or not filtering properly, everything comes in at once - like a flood of sights and sounds hitting the brain at full force. So rather than being able to focus on what their teacher is saying or navigate the shopping centre, their brain is focusing on all of the ‘background’ sounds and sensations. Suddenly, it’s not just a jumper or a sock seam, it’s a scratchy, suffocating nightmare. It’s not just the shops, it’s a loud, bright sensory explosion.

The Amygdala:  The Alarm System

This is the emotional part of the brain that keeps us safe. It sounds the alarm when something feels threatening, even if it's not actually dangerous. It triggers the fight-or-flight response when necessary, like a car beeping when crossing the road, an alarm being triggered or someone yelling out for help. 

When sensory input becomes too much, the amygdala goes into protection mode and interprets it as a danger, even if the situation isn’t actually threatening. This is why a bright light, a loud noise, a sock seam or an itchy tag in a shirt can cause a child to scream, run away, or shut down. 

It’s the body’s way of saying, “I can’t cope right now.”

The Prefrontal Cortex: The Logic & Regulation Hub

This part of the brain helps us problem-solve, reason, regulate emotions, and have self control. It’s our ‘thinking’ brain. But during sensory overload?It goes offline.

Which means your child literally can’t think clearly, regulate emotions, or “just calm down.” The amygdala (the emotional brain) takes over, making it nearly impossible to think logically, make decisions, answer questions, or regulate emotions in that moment. 

They’re not being difficult - they’re dysregulated.

Example 1: The wrong coloured cup Your child wanted their juice in the blue cup. You gave them red. Now they’re crying or throwing it.	💡 What’s really happening?Their prefrontal cortex is struggling to problem-solve (“I can just ask for a different cup”), and their amygdala took over, reacting emotionally instead.
Example 2: Homework frustration They can’t figure out a math question and suddenly they’re ripping the paper and refusing to try.	💡 What’s happening? The challenge feels too much. With their prefrontal cortex offline (the thinking brain) they aren’t able to think the problem through, or ask for help. Their brain sees it as a threat, not a puzzle to solve.
Example 3:  The grocery store meltdown You say it’s time to leave, and they lose it. On the floor, big feelings, no reasoning.	💡 What’s happening? Their brain hasn’t developed the flexibility to handle disappointment yet, so instead of reasoning (we can come back another time), they react with big emotions.

Here are just a few common sensory triggers that can lead to emotional outbursts

Tactile sensitivities	Tags, seams, scratchy textures, sticky fingers, or surprise touches can feel unbearable. Getting dressed turns into a full-body protest and buying new clothes is a stressful experience.
Auditory overload	Loud noises. Crowded spaces. Vacuum cleaners. Hair dryers.  Even overlapping voices at a birthday party can be enough to overwhelm your little ones nervous system.  Sometimes, it’s not the event that’s the problem, it’s the soundscape.
Transitions & changes in routine	Moving from one activity to the next, especially without warning, can feel chaotic or disorienting. What might look like resistance or defiance could just be a nervous system asking for more time to adjust.
Movement needs	Some kids crave constant movement, and when they don’t get it, become dysregulated and restless.  Running laps around the house, crashing into pillows, constantly wriggling at the dinner table or whilst doing school work.  It’s self-regulation in action.
Food & smell sensitivities	Strong smells, unfamiliar textures, or slight changes in brand or presentation can cause big reactions.If your child can tell the difference between different brands of foods, you’re not imagining it. Their sensory world is turned all the way up.

Supporting Your Child Through Sensory Overload

When your child is mid-meltdown, you need to understand the need underneath it.

Here’s how to hold space for your child when their nervous system is in overdrive:

Regulate yourself first	Your calm is contagious. Your child’s nervous system is wired to co-regulate with yours—so when you slow your breathing, soften your tone, and ground yourself, you’re showing them what safety feels like.
Offer a sensory reset	Sometimes it’s movement. Sometimes it’s deep pressure. Sometimes it’s space and quiet. Learn what helps your child feel safe in their body—and offer that without conditions or pressure.
Make things predictable	Visuals, timers, routines—they’re not just for structure, they’re for safety. The more your child knows what’s coming, the less their nervous system has to stay on high alert.
Name what’s going on	“I see that noise was really loud. That felt too much, didn’t it?” When you name the experience, you help your child feel seen—and over time, you give them the words to express it too.
Adjust the environment	If socks are a daily battle, try seamless ones. If the shops are too loud, offer headphones. You’re not “giving in”—you’re creating a world that works with your child’s nervous system, not against it.

Not all tantrums are sensory-related, but if your child consistently struggles with everyday sounds, textures, or transitions, it may be a sign of sensory processing challenges. Our highly skilled team of Occupational therapists can help your child develop coping skills and regulate their sensory system more effectively.

Tantrums and sensory meltdowns can feel overwhelming—not just for your child, but for you as a parent too. In these moments, it helps to step back and visualise what’s happening inside your child’s brain. Using analogies can make it easier to understand their experience and remind you to stay calm, take deep breaths, and offer support instead of frustration.

Just like a fireworks show, sensory input starts small but quickly builds up into bright, loud, overwhelming bursts. Your child’s brain is lighting up in all directions, making it impossible for them to focus or calm down.

Your child isn’t trying to be difficult—they’re struggling to process their world. And in those moments, what they need most is a calm, understanding presence to help them reset. 

Does this resonate with your child’s experiences? Reach out today—our expert team is here to provide the support and strategies your child needs to thrive! 

ENQUIRE ABOUT OUR OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY SERVICES