How Do You Talk to Yourself?
By Steph Lavelle - Virtual Assistant
How you talk to yourself can create a huge difference in the way you feel about your life.
Yesterday we delved into how language can impact your brain and ultimately your wellbeing in every way, mental, emotional and physical. Basically yesterday we learnt how powerful language was and what a massive effect it has on the way we feel about our lives.
So today let’s dig a little deeper and talk about how you are using language in relation to yourself and how this is affecting the experience of life you are living.
Take a moment right now, close your eyes and just think about how you actually speak to yourself? What words do you use when talking about yourself in your own mind and what words are you saying out loud when you’re talking about yourself?
Have you been using predominantly negative self talk? Saying things like - I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I did that, I should have known better, I’m not (fill in the blank - skinny, pretty, smart etc.) enough, I’m too (fill in the blank - fat, emotional, lazy, loud etc.).
Have you been using mainly positive language with yourself? I’m so good at that, I’ve totally got this, I really am beautiful, I’m such a great friend etc.
Do you feel like you use a combination depending on the situation?
Whatever it is for you is perfectly fine, all you’ve just done is become aware of how language is currently being experienced in your life and now you get to consider if this is the way you truly want to live.
How you speak about yourself determines your belief or lack of belief in yourself. It impacts your levels of self love and self appreciation and it shows others how to treat you. If you have used words up until now that diminish your beauty, your intelligence or your abilities in this life then I invite you to STOP! I invite you instead to make a list (YES WRITE IT ALL DOWN) of all the things that you love, appreciate, celebrate - whatever feels right for you - about yourself! Start using these words that you write down when you talk about yourself either when you’re looking in the mirror or when you’re speaking to others. Tell yourself “Fuck, I’m brilliant” (I say this all the time, now everyone around me when I say it says “yes you are”), “I am so beautiful”, “I’m such a wonderful friend”, “I really am a truly wonderful Mum” - whatever feels right for you once you’ve acknowledged all of the unique brilliance that is YOU and say it constantly.
Know that these words are helping to rewire the neural pathways in your brain so that your life becomes the happy, vibrant and enjoyable experience you really want it to be.
Know that these words are building your confidence, your resilience, your self belief and you self worth, every single time you use them.
Know that these words are helping you to role model to others how you deserve to be treated and celebrated.
Know that these words are helping you to lead by example as the gorgeousness of your true soul self will shine out and ripple this magic into everyone's lives, by speaking about yourself like this you are giving others permission to do the same. Knowing now the toxic impact negative language can have on your life, think about that if you are a Mother, Father, teacher, friend, lover, boss - ANYONE - imagine the positive impact you can have on others by using this language and giving them permission to use similar language in their own lives - MAGIC!
Remember that if you have been living with language that has been creating a challenging life for you up till now and you want to make changes, be patient with yourself, this will take time but the best part is you are in control of how this works for you!
You can achieve huge goals in life simply by considering the language you are currently using and making changes to create the life you really want to live. If you want to feel happier in life start to find things to be happy about every day and talk about them eg. instead of complaining about having to wash the dishes, talk about how happy you are that your house is beautiful and clean. If you want to quit your job and create your own business and you’re always talking about why it can’t happen yet, start talking about what you can do that helps you achieve that goal - maybe it’s reading a book that’s relevant or doing research into the area of business you want to be successful in. Whatever your goals, use language that supports them and makes you feel positive about your life right now.
Remember change will take practice and the best thing to do is to change the words you’ve used as soon as you realise you’ve used language from old patterning. You will slip back into old patterns, probably when you least expect it, so be gentle with yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not making change happen in life towards what makes you feel great, it just means you’re learning a new way of being YOU. A new way of communicating with the world around you and a new way of creating the life you really want to live. Learning anything takes time right?
As you’re becoming more aware of how language works in your world to help you create a life you really love and that feels good, It’s important to always believe in yourself!
You’ve got this and we believe in YOU!