Kick Self-Sabotage to the Kerb & Smash Your Goals!
By Stephanie Lavelle
The second half of the year has arrived and you get to choose exactly how productive it’s going to be - for you!
Maybe you set some goals earlier in the year and you haven’t achieved everything you had hoped to, so what are you going to do about it? Are you going to give up on yourself or are you going to read on, adjust your attitude and back yourself to smash those goals out of the park?
Read on, great choice ;)
You see the thing is, if you’ve been through trauma in life, as soon as you set a goal your brain is wired to focus on the reasons why you won’t achieve it and then use these reasons to unconsciously sabotage your efforts.
You’re not a failure, there’s nothing wrong with you, you don’t need fixing - with deeper self awareness you can achieve everything you dream of and then some!
So, here are some tips to support you in dealing with those moments of self sabotage that will pop up as you reassess and continue to push towards your goals and create the life that you really want to live.
Know Your Options
Consider what it is you are wanting to achieve and then make note of all the ways that feel like options for you to get to your goal.
For example - if you’re wanting to overcome your anxiety you might decide to commit to meditation daily and walking 4 times a week BUT you might also make note that spending time in the sun, yoga, cuddles with your fur baby and journaling also help ease your anxiety.
So if for some reason you can’t meditate or walk as planned you have other options that you know will still support your ultimate goal of decreasing your anxiety, you have other options to lean on.
It’s totally cool to adjust your ‘how’ of reaching your goals whenever needed as long as you are feeling safe and aligned to your ultimate outcome.
Exposure therapy is super powerful in helping you strengthen your resistance muscle! It supports you to slowly overcome the triggers that could limit your success in achieving your goals.
The way it works - whatever it is you’re trying to achieve, consider the reasons that could limit your success and over time you increase your exposure to these factors.
For example - if you are wanting to stop buying sweets from the bakery, you might start by not going to the bakery at all and as your cravings start to decrease you might go to the bakery once a week and challenge yourself not to buy a dessert but get your loaf of bread. After a few months you might be able to walk past the bakery every day but only buy 2 sweets a month. So as you focus on your goal and strengthen your resilience to those things that will impede your progress you can increase your exposure to these aspects of life and not fall off the wagon.
The only way to know that you have made a lasting lifestyle change is by having the opportunity to be exposed to the old version of your existence and experience yourself making a different choice. This is why exposure therapy is so powerful, it literally demonstrates how far you have come when you are able to stand by your goals and stay committed to YOU!
Have a plan to deal with the moments when you feel like your boundaries are being pushed! This is crucial to being able to achieve your goals. In order to be prepared it’s important to consider how you’ve sabotaged your goals in the past and what you could do differently this time to make sure you don’t get derailed in your quest for change.
For example - if you know that you have a goal of losing weight to be healthier and respect your physical body more but you have a weekly dinner with your whole family that always includes dessert and you know eating that dessert is not going to help you reach your goal, then have a plan to deal with the offers of deliciousness from that one family member who won’t take NO for an answer. Maybe you could eat a portion half the size if that feels right for you, maybe you could leave before dessert gets served, or maybe you could ‘gift’ your piece to your sweet toothed Nana ;)
Being prepared to deal with the triggers that have the potential to foil your greatest goals is so important and makes life so much easier in the moment, so be sure to take a few moments to think ahead and prepare yourself, it really will pay off.
So, go get your goals peeps! You’ve got this and now you have a few more tricks up your sleeve to help you make the next six months work for you in every way! Enjoy :D